Winter Woe

It's been downhill weather-wise since that snowy day early this month. Winter came baring down on us so quickly that it really wasn't the greatest Fall season this year. I was never really able to sit still since I returned from Manila. It was one problem after another. How do I pay for school? How do I pay for rent? How do I pay for food? How do I find work? I was always on my toes. The past few months have been a progression of deadlines. Kapagod. It doesn't help that it is this cold this early.

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Everyday, on the way home, I pass by a church. It's right in front of the 1140 building. Even in the immediate post summer days, it looked so cold and uninviting.

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Yesterday during my art history class, as we were studying the decline of the Roman empire, the teacher took pains to point out a curious aspect of early Christian architecture. He first explained to us how taking the ancient Roman capital to Constantinople paved the way for the "Easternizing" of Christian architecture, and how it brought forth two schools of architectural thought. In the east we had the orthodox-ish churches. In the west we had the basilica type architecture most of us are familiar with. But, like I said, he took the time to point out a peculiar fact. He showed us how different these western churches looked as seen from the outside and as seen from the inside. Outside they looked like early 20th century factories made of brick. Impersonal. Cold. Inside was a totally different world. The walls were covered with mosaics made of the finest, shimmering stones and precious metals. It would have inspired awe in the church-goers and would have helped create a spiritual atmosphere inside the church.

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On my way home yesterday I stopped in front of the church. I decided that I should walk in, expecting a bloggable event to happen. "Maybe it looks more welcoming on the inside." I went in. I was disappointed to see that there was nothing different behind the doors. Just more of the gray cold concrete. Empty pews. I sat down anyway because I welcomed the temporary respite from the climate outside. In a matter of moments everything changed. It really was something that I could barely describe. Imagine the intensity of a thousand "disco" sessions. Imagine being embraced by an invisible man, being assured that everything will be okay. Imagine going through all that without really expecting it to happen. Iba. Whereas I felt alone coming in, I then felt like "the only one."

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A couple of moments later I was walking again; walking along the same path that I've been taking for months. Walked into the same apartment. Complained about the same overeager heater. Tried to look for someone to eat with. At the back of my mind I was thinking about ancient Romans, and how walls of precious mosaics glimmering in the light must have been their weak, weak attempt at approximating the love of God, who always invites you inside where He resides always in His magnificence.